‘Everyone is equal in the eyes of God” is an oft-quoted phrase. But for Rev. Don Ross, the words served as a firmly established guiding principle for both his personal and professional life.
A man of deep faith, Ross was a trailblazer in the church community, coming out publicly and with confidence.
A leader in the acceptance of all sexual orientations in the United Church when it was largely taboo, Ross was known for his advocacy work, encouraging and creating welcoming ministries.
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Rev. Don Ross was born in Winnipeg and sang in the Winnipeg Boys Choir.
His efforts led toward Augustine United Church becoming the first officially Affirming mainstream church in Canada.
A minister of the United Church starting in 1960, he led and inspired congregations in several communities including Thunder Bay, Pinawa, Delta, Portage la Prairie and Winnipeg, where he retired in 1996 and later became minister emeritus.
Ross died on April 19, 2024, at the age of 87.
Longtime friend Rev. Donald E.D. Johnson said Ross was supportive, much loved and always ready with a friendly smile, an encouraging word or a helpful observation.
“His preaching was strong, clear and on the mark,” Johnson said. “His prayers were evocative and faithful. His liturgical presence, knowledge of hymnody and musical skill all combined to create worship worthy to be called worship.
“Don was theologically sound and well read. Positions he took, on issues and opinions he held, were shaped by his love of scripture, his wrestling with the texts of the Bible and his engaging with the teachings of the church. This was most clearly seen in his advocacy for gay and lesbian people.
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Rev. Don Ross was a United Church minister from his ordination in 1960 to his retirement in 1996, later becoming minister emeritus.
“It must have taken tremendous courage for Don in those earlier years to address homosexuality from the pulpit and to be a resource, a counsellor, a friendly ear for those struggling with orientation. His approach was more than a justice issue; for him it was a faith issue, a call to action based on theology.”
Johnson recalls Ross’s words on a Pride Sunday at Augustine Church, nine years ago: “The story of LGBT people is a long one and it is arduous. To remember those people, to bring them to life in our midst, inevitably brings us anger and grief — anger and grief we should not avoid, even in our seasons of celebration.
“And even in our own time, when so much has been gained, there is reason for grief, reason for outrage: our young people take their lives, families lose those they love, and some of our folk cannot stay in their own homeland because it is not safe.
“We grieve for what was, and for what — too often — still is.”
Born in Winnipeg, Ross sang in the Winnipeg Boys Choir. In 1964 he married Patricia Weaver and together they raised four children.
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Ross, with one of his daughters, taught his children to listen to what was guiding them.
In the early 1980s he met Leonard Perry, who ultimately became his life partner until Perry’s death in 2021.
Ross maintained close bonds with his own and Perry’s children, their extended families and their many grandchildren throughout the years.
“Although my parents’ split meant that he couldn’t be around us all the time, when we were, he put a lot of energy into weekends with us and made sure we were safe and had fun,” said his son Andrew.
“He tried to widen our worlds with exposure to art, theatre, festivals, architecture, music and people who were different from ourselves.
“All of us kids were enrolled in piano and were in school band class. Although my dad wasn’t the least bit sporty himself, we kids were in sports and he’d diligently take us to track meets, soccer, baseball, hockey.”
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Rev. Don Ross baptizes his first of eight grandchildren.
Even though he focused on ensuring the children and grandchildren had good life experiences, there was an introspective side to Ross, with his son describing him as highly contemplative.
“You got the sense he was always thinking about something, almost like a sage. He felt that what we see around us is the surface of things. He was really intent on finding a deeper spiritual meaning in life,” explained Andrew.
“As someone who’s not particularly religious myself, it feels a bit weird talking about religion, but you can’t separate my dad and his commitment to it,” he continued.
“He wasn’t a biblical literalist and believed that context is everything with scripture. I recall he didn’t like people cherry-picking quotes or using the Bible as a tool to justify marginalizing people.
“He in fact would remind people that Jesus was friends with marginalized people. I recall hearing that in his sermons when we went to church as a kid.”
His father taught Andrew many valuable lessons, most importantly that life isn’t meant to be a pursuit of empty thrills, that while it’s important to be happy, life isn’t just about attaining things you personally want.
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Time with family, including his son’s cat, was a priority for Rev. Don Ross.
“He believed that contributing to the betterment of society and helping people in tougher situations than your own is a higher cause and that by doing so you’d reach a deeper level of joy. He was keen on being self-reflective and ensuring you’re having a positive, contributing influence on people and the world.”
In a tribute to her father, daughter Iona Louise Sentes recounted memories of being a young adult and living with him in their St. James apartment.
“My friends would call and ask me what I was up to and the second question would be, ‘Is your dad home?’ And I would reply, ‘Yeah, he’s sitting right here,why?’ To which the response always was, ‘I’ll be right over. I just love talking with your dad.’
Sentes said her father taught her to listen, not only to what she heard, but to what was guiding her, to nature, to people.
“He also taught me to have compassion; to show it, to share it and to be it. Dad also taught me to show forgiveness. A person’s wrongs are always worthy of forgiveness as we cannot know the origin of their pain and struggles.
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The United Church minister raised four children with Patricia Weaver before meeting Leonard Perry (left), his life partner.
“He taught me that I am part of something greater than myself and that I should honour and respect my own journey. He taught me how to be brave, how to be bold and how to speak my mind in a meaningful way.
“Collectively, Dad taught us, his children, to not be afraid, to not fear who we are, but instead to celebrate it, celebrate our uniquenesses, celebrate the gifts we’ve been given, celebrate our place in this world. My dad is my hero.”